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Surely there’s a more efficient way for Craig Kelly to find a sexual partner than randomly texting 12 million Australians

EDITORIAL: No doubt about it, lockdowns are hard. A lot of Australians are struggling. A lot of Australians are lonely. But a lot of Australians aren’t sending unsolicited text messages to half the population.

It’s a pretty inefficient way to find a sexual partner, Craig. Use Tinder, mate. Grindr if that’s more your thing. Join a seniors meet-up group with your local council – pretty sure they’d be doing online events at the moment. But ease up on the texts. It’s just a little weird mate. It’s scattergun.

One of the great things about the dating websites is that you can get matched to someone who shares your interests, rather than just going for a blanket approach. So for example, you might put in your profile something like, “Lazy, taxpayer-funded conspiracy theorist seeking likeminded knobhead to read 4chan hydroxychloroquine forums with” and you’ll be away. Before you know it you’ll be popping horse wormers and screaming ‘I love Q’ with the woman of your dreams.

It’s a better way to go about it mate. You know it makes sense.

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