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Victorians Celebrate Day 28 Of 7-Day Snap Lockdown

Calling it ‘the longest fucking week of their lives’, Victorians have celebrated the twenty-eight day of their sixth short, sharp lockdown, with some experts saying the end of the week may still be several weeks away.

Melbourne resident Julia Soo confirmed it had felt like a slow start to the week. “The first four weeks of this week were a bit of a grind, definitely. But I’m expecting the last few weeks of the week to fly by,” she said.

Premier Dan Andrews acknowledged it had been a tough week so far, but remained confident the lockdown could end within the 7-day timeline.  “I think we can all agree mass impacts gravity, and gravity impacts time. And if we accept that we’ve all put on a few lockdown kilos, then that extra mass has bent Melbourne’s gravitational pull and, now, as Victorian time moves more slowly, we can still beat this within our 7-day period if we all do our part and keep eating. We need to trust the science.”

He reiterated that residents can only leave home for five reasons: shopping for essentials, authorised work or permitted education, to get vaccinated or tested, to exercise for a maximum of as long as you think your neighbours won’t notice you’re gone, and essential travel like pub crawls, engagement parties, or anti-lockdown protests.

NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian said she felt sorry for Victorians, pointing out that they don’t do lockdowns in NSW.

Matt Harvey @mattharveystuff 

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