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Peter Dutton Open-Top Parade To Frighten Sydneysiders Into Staying Home

With her options fast running out, NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian enacted emergency measures today, calling on Immigration Minister Peter Dutton to drive around the streets of Sydney, in a final attempt to keep Sydneysiders inside their houses.

“I didn’t want to do this, but I’ve been left with no choice. When I said NSW had the toughest measures in the world, this is what I meant,” Berejiklian said, warning that the parade would start from 8pm tonight. “Please, for your own sanity, stay inside, draw the curtains and don’t come out for 4-6 weeks”.

Experts say the initiative should see case numbers drop within days, but some say the balance between curbing the virus and impinging on human rights has tipped in the wrong direction. “This is a particularly cruel measure, and while I’m sure it will work, we need to think of the mental cost as well,” epidemiologist Trevor Mahoney said. “People in south west Sydney have suffered enough, and the trauma of this could last years”.

Headline by Schmeichel Simmonds

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