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Census To Determine Critical Infrastructure Needs That Government Can Ignore

The 2021 Census will allow the Federal Government to determine the infrastructure needs of future generations, so they can ignore them and build carparks in marginal electorates instead.

The Prime Minister said the five-yearly survey was an important tool in diverting the public’s attention from how infrastructure spending actually works. “Infrastructure spending goes to the areas of most need. For the Liberal Party. So it’s vital that all Australians complete the Census so we can rort … sorry sort … out where the money goes. Once we have that data we can get on with building Australia, one marginal seat at a time”. 

He said the data will help pinpoint growth areas requiring additional services in the future. “So, for example, the Census might identify that there needs to be more spending on roads in Melbourne, and we can then take on board that data and give a $20 million grant to a rowing club in north Sydney.

“Or the Census might uncover that demographic changes necessitate a new hospital in the northern suburbs of Adelaide, which will in turn mean we can immediately divert spending to a new car park in a marginal electorate in Queensland”.

The PM said the societal changes caused by the pandemic would also influence decision making. “With more people working from home it’s obvious we need more commuter carparks. And with lockdowns becoming more normal, we need to fund additional sporting facilities where no-one can play, at clubs that don’t need the money”.

With Ty Innane

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