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Fragments Of Integrity Found In Canberra Wastewater

Canberra residents are on high alert this evening after authorities detected what appeared to be traces of honesty and decency in wastewater samples. Experts quickly dismissed the news, saying the sample – which would be the first positive trace in the capital in more than 950 days – is assumed to be a false positive.   

“We’re pretty sure this is a mistake in sampling, or a historic case an integrity shedding,” a spokesperson for the Water Authority said.

She urged Canberra residents not to be concerned, confirming it is only a tiny trace. “We know this is not something we usually see in Canberra, so it may make some people uncomfortable. But we’re confident that, even if this does turn out to be a positive sample, it will not spread easily to others”.

The levels of bullshit detected were at normal high levels.

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With Peter Tovey

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