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NSW Pulls Forward 50,000 Doses Of Pepper Spray

NSW has urgently pulled forward extra doses of pepper spray to help deal with a growing outbreak of fuckheadery in central Sydney.

NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian said she had asked other state Premiers to divert supplies to NSW, but so far her requests had fallen on deaf ears. Victorian Premier Dan Andrews said he needed to hang on to supplies to deal with fuckwits in his own state.

Experts say supplies of intelligence were also in drastically short supply.

Health Minister Brad Hazzard said dickheads could expect to feel the full force of the law. “Anyone seen punching a horse, or thinking about punching a horse will be tracked down in the fourth quarter of the calendar year and prosecuted.”

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With Adam Reakes

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