Victorian Shadow Treasurer Louise Staley has intensified her campaign against the Andrews’ government, demanding answers to a list of questions about an alleged theft that took place at a cookie jar earlier in her childhood.
Under the heading ‘Premier owes Victorians some simple answers’, Staley used a press release to list twelve questions that she says have yet to be answered by the government.
The press release read:
“A cookie was stolen from the cookie jar. But more than 50 years on, we are none the wiser as to who stole it.
These are questions that have come up again and again and again, for as long as I can remember. Since I was a little girl. And still, we are yet to get satisfactory answers from this government. What are they trying to hide?
Victorians deserve answers to these 12 simple questions:
- Who took the cookie from the cookie jar?
- Was it Dan Andrews who took the cookie from the cookie jar?
- If not Dan Andrews, then who?
- Who owns the cookie jar?
- Was the missing cookie reported to the police?
- If not, has anyone been interviewed either formally or informally about what took place at the cookie jar?
- Was the cookie from the Arnott’s Family Assorted Pack or was it another, lesser-known brand?
- Was it one of those cookies with cream in the middle, or a single cookie arrangement?
- Why are we calling them cookies and not biscuits?
- Could it, in fact, have been the Cookie Monster who took the cookie from the cookie jar?
- Why am I, a 55-year-old woman, making references to fictional children’s characters in my press releases?
- Was it a real cookie, or was it a ‘body double’ pretending to look like a cookie?
We will continue to ask these questions, over and over again, even if it starts to get very repetitive if need be, until we have a resolution.