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Government Launches ‘No-Jab-No-Negative-Gearing’ In Desperate Bid To Increase Take-Up Amongst Boomers

With a concerning number of older Australians saying they will hold off on getting immunised, the Morrison government has announced a new policy that will require people to get vaccinated before they can write off their investment property.

The policy is expected to increase take-up of the vaccine to 100%.

Health expert Riley Dimitreou said if there was one thing that older Australians feared more than an AstraZeneca vaccine it was missing out on middle-class welfare. “We’re confident that any complains about ‘personal freedoms’ or ‘needing more data before I’m convinced’ will dissipate immediately once people realise their tax rebates are at risk”.

Barbara Henningsway, 60, who owns three investment properties and claimed last week she was ‘concerned about contracting autism’ now says she is totally comfortable getting the jab. “I was very worried about it. But then I heard I might be forced to pay a fair rate of tax and all of a sudden I found myself lining up to get a vaccination. The science is pretty clear on this stuff. I’m not sure what all the fuss has been about”.

Since the announcement of the policy this morning, vaccination centres – particularly in Sydney and Melbourne’s eastern suburbs – have been overwhelmed with demand.

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