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$230 Billion In Budget Earmarked For Empathy Training

Treasurer Josh Frydenberg has set aside more than $200 billion dollars in this year’s federal budget for essential empathy training for government MPs.

In his budget speech tonight, Mr Frydenberg is expected to focus on what he is calling a crisis facing ordinary Liberal government workers.

“In 2021, two out of every three government MPs in Australia is living without empathy. That means there are MPs who do not have the emotional capacity to think of anyone but themselves. MPs who – through no fault of their own – do not understand why taking unsolicited photos of women is a creepy. Or why covering up a rape is wrong.

“Mr Speaker, while most Australians take for granted their ability to show concern for other people, for some – especially those in this government – it is something that can only be achieved through expensive training.

“Tonight, Mr Speaker, we will address this crisis by allocating $230 billion to a course run by a mate of mine I went to school with, to allow not just one or two, but all government MPs access to essential empathy training they need to appear human”.

Analysts have confirmed that, without the empathy training line item, the budget would have been in surplus.

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