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Morrison Sits Down With Wife To Determine Whether Masturbating On Female MP’s Desk Is Appropriate Or Not

Prime Minister Scott Morrison has called an urgent meeting with wife Jenny to seek clarification about whether a Liberal staffer filming himself wanking over a female MP’s desk was a good thing or a bad thing.

“We sat down last night and I sought her opinion, as I do on anything requiring emotional intelligence,” the Prime Minister explained.

“And she said, ‘Are you fucking mental? A man got his dick out in a woman’s office, filmed it, and then shared it with his mates. In what world is this even remotely something you’d need to seek advice on you absolute fucking nonce’. Jenny always has a way of clarifying things”.

Mr Morrison said he had taken Jenny’s advice to think about this as a father first.

“This morning I’ve been thinking to myself, what if that desk was my daughter’s desk? I’d probably have to buy a new desk, which could be quite expensive. That’s unfair on the father – I can see that now”.

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