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“I Don’t Use A Desk, Mate”: Scott Morrison Refuses To Take Responsibility For Latest Sex Scandal

Scott Morrison has distanced himself from the latest scandal at Parliament House which saw a male staffer perform a sex act on a female MP’s desk, with the Prime Minister claiming ‘I don’t use a desk, mate’.

In an interview with Sky News Australia, Mr Morrison said, “I know Australians understand this; they know that I don’t sit at a desk doing work all day. That’s just not something I’ve ever done. Working is what other people do. I pose for photographs in sports guernseys and build cubby houses for my teenage kids.

“So I really don’t understand how I can be held responsible for this, I really don’t. I mean, I don’t even know what a desk looks like to be honest with you. When I first heard of this report that someone had ejaculated – or spilled his seed as we say at Hillsong – on a desk, my first question was, ‘What’s a desk?’ My second question was, have we got this steam cleaned yet and is there any security footage?

“So there’s really not much I can do I’m afraid except stand in front of the cameras and look sad and announce some new measures to support women which we’ll quietly shelve when this all dies down”.

Asked whether he felt responsible at all for the culture at Parliament House, the Prime Minister was adamant.

“No, I’m sorry, I reject the premise of your question. How can I be supposed to be across all the details of who is doing what with desks when it hasn’t even been brought to my attention what a desk actually is? I’m the Prime Minister, I’m not a sales assistant at Officeworks. Next you’ll be asking me to take responsibility for the running of the country”.

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