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Jeff Bezos Resigns From Amazon, Citing Appalling Working Conditions

Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos has handed in his resignation, saying he can longer withstand the horrific working conditions at the company.

Bezos, who has worked at the company for almost 30 years, said enough was enough. “The pay is ok, but the work is absolutely demoralising. Yesterday I had to pee in a bottle because the company doesn’t allow bathroom breaks. Some of the staff here wear diapers for god’s sake!”

He said staff were held to impossible standards. “We get a fifteen minute break each day, but the break room is a fifteen minute walk away! Whoever runs this place is a maniac. I can’t take it anymore,” he said.

“People here are pushed to the limit all just so that some chump in Minnesota can get his toaster delivered same day. I’m not a robot. I’m a person”.

The Amazon board said Bezos would be replaced with a cheaper, more efficient robot CEO.

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