As South Australia grapples with a new outbreak of COVID-19, Victorian Liberal MP Tim Smith has made himself available at short notice to travel to the state to help fuck around with people’s lives in whatever way he can.
“Just let me know what your plan to get on top of this is and I’ll relentlessly undermine it,” Smith said in a Tweet.
The Member for Kew said he could have a publicity stunt and half a dozen attention-seeking radio interviews set up by the afternoon. “Just say the word and I’ll be ready with a thousand shithouse takes and exactly zero constructive solutions. And if you want me to arrange some doughnuts in the shape of a dick, I can do that too”.
He said it was an open offer to be unhelpful. “Right now you’ll be focused on drawing everyone’s attention towards the task of beating this virus. But I’ve found a more interesting approach is to draw everyone’s attention towards me. It’ll do absolutely nothing to get the virus under control, but it will it go some way to filling the gaping chasm in my soul. Call me”.