Donald Trump has been taken to hospital following a series of tests that confirmed he is an arsehole.
The White House released a statement, saying that the US President had undertaken a series of medical tests that had confirmed what many had suspected – he is a racist, sexist, bullying, pathological liar. “He has been showing signs for many, many years,” a spokesperson said.
Several medical experts cited Trump’s performance at the first presidential debate as one of many examples of his symptoms being on display. One expert, who wished to remain anonymous, said that the prognosis for the US President was poor given his age. “At the age of 74, and with millions of people who think he can do no wrong, it’s difficult to see how he can become less of a lying, racist and sexist bully in the near term, or ever”.
The expert also expressed concern that being surrounded by supporters would reduce the likelihood of any improvement. “With an entire political movement supporting him, it’s unlikely that we’ll see much improvement”