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Parliament cancelled due to absence of readily-available global network of interconnected computers that allows people to communicate remotely

Scott Morrison has cancelled the upcoming sitting of parliament, saying he just wished there was a way for MPs to communicate with each other without having to be in the same physical space.

“With COVID-19 still not fully under control we can’t have politicians travelling to Canberra. If only there was some sort of global network of interconnected computers – linked through a cabling system, or an existing phone network, say – that allowed people to communicate with one another remotely,” Mr Morrison said.

“I mean, it’s not as if it’s like on those sci-fi movies where you can just beam someone into a conversation using a computer screen”.

But technology experts disagree with Mr Morrison’s assessment, saying a remotely-accessible platform for hosting half-baked debates, name-calling, misleading information, shameless self-promotion and personal abuse already exists. “It’s called Twitter”.

Government Services Minister Stuart Robert later offered to provide his internet connection for a remote sitting of Parliament, but advised that it would cost $40 million a month.

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