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A tip for protesters at the White House: If you say you’re called ‘The Coronavirus’ the President won’t do anything to stop you

The easiest way to break the security lines at the protests outside the White House is to say you’re called ‘The Coronavirus’, it has been revealed.

“If the President is told that The Coronavirus is on the loose, then he won’t do a thing to stop you,” one White House insider said.

“You’ll literally be able to do whatever the fuck you want for three weeks, no questions asked. After that he’ll say that he always knew that you were a major threat, but by that time you’ll have moved in and made the place your own”.

Another White House source agreed with the advice. “If you say you’re part of a global pandemic you’ll have the run of the country. But if you say you’re a group of black men he’ll call in the army”.

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