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Lazy Mother-Of-Three Hasn’t Used Lockdown To Learn A Second Language Yet

Melbourne mother-of-three Sarah Waite hasn’t written a novel or learned Italian yet, it has been revealed.

While others have used the extended lockdown as an opportunity to finish a screenplay or write a cookbook, Waite has reportedly been lazing around doing her full-time job and home-schooling three children.

“What a waste,” friend Lucy McMillon posted on a Whatsapp group chat. “I learnt how to bake home-made hot cross buns and code a website, and that was just in the first week. It’s week five and Sarah hasn’t even launched a podcast yet. What does she do with all this extra time we’ve been given?”.

Waite said she had hoped to develop a new hobby like pickling vegetables or playing viola, but had instead fritted away her time looking after kids and trying to get her home internet connection to work.

“I haven’t even pitched an idea for a TV show yet, let alone finished an online degree in 18th century costume design. I’m not sure what I’ve done with all the extra time. I’m worried that we’ll come out of lockdown and I’ll look back and think – that was my chance to learn how to restore mid-century furniture and I blew it”.

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