An alarming 146,251 ridiculous new opinions about coronavirus were confirmed in Australia yesterday, up from 122,023 the day before.
The graph shows a disturbing increase in the growth of bullshit stories, with current projections suggesting that the number is doubling every three days.
Facebook is believed to be the epicentre of the outbreak, with twelve thousand new stories about the benefits of sipping water every fifteen minutes to avoid COVID-19 confirmed yesterday alone.
Authorities are worried about the outbreak, with one spokesperson saying we needed to be calm. “Everyone just needs to take a deep breath … and hold it for 10 seconds. If this can be done without coughing then it shows that there is no fibrosis in the lungs and you don’t have coronavirus. That’s what a friend of mine who works at a Brisbane hospital told me”.
The USA currently leads the world on the bullshit measurement, although it is expected to overcome the issue by Easter.