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‘Why The Fuck Aren’t You Social Distancing?’ Says Man Who Boasted About Going To The Footy Last Weekend

The spread of coronavirus is your fault, a man who only ten days ago said he was going to sit in a packed stadium of football fans to watch his beloved Sharkies, has claimed.  

Mr Morrison, who also happens to be the Prime Minister of a medium-sized nation, announced plans to dramatically increase social distancing measures, saying people weren’t taking it seriously enough.

“I’ve got no idea where you all got this idea that it was ok just to hang about in large numbers,” he said, adjusting his Sharks cap.

“And imagine going to a beach in the middle of a national crisis! I mean, really?

“When we all do not do the right thing, then it has real implications for others,” he said, apparently forgetting that he had literally encouraged people to attend mass gatherings last weekend.

“What we need is for people to lead by example. Pull your heads in, for god’s sake”.

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