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Scott Morrison Starts Panic-Buying Pina Coladas, As Fears Of Travel Ban Grow

Fearing he may not get to Hawaii again this year, the Prime Minister has cleared the rum, coconut milk and pineapple juice aisles at his local shopping centre, so he is able to make pina coladas at home in case of an emergency.

At a family meeting this morning, Mr Morrison urged his wife and daughters to remain calm, but said there was a chance they would not be able to escape to Waikiki if things get worse.

“There is a real danger that flights will be cancelled. And while I don’t want to be alarmist, I do want everyone to prepare for the fact that we may not be going to Hawaii next month,” he said.

The Prime Minister explained that he had stockpiled enough ingredients for 200 litres of pina coladas as well as a pair of cheap plastic chairs.

“I think we can re-create the ambience of our summer trip right here in the Shire,” he said.

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