A new, simpler measure of intelligence has been developed which is calculated by subtracting the number of rolls of toilet paper you have in your house right now from the number 150.
“Previously we’ve had to do lengthy and arduous testing to work out someone’s IQ. But this new measure allows us to very quickly assess how bright someone is,” said Jessica Low, the creator of the new measure.
Roger Taylor from Brisbane, who has an IQ of 19, said he was totally prepared for a potential outbreak of coronavirus, especially given that coronavirus is known to cause extreme diarrhoea.
“I forgot to buy food and I don’t know where my nearest GP is, but that’s ok because I’ve got over 100 rolls of Quilton extra soft”.
Barbara Casey, who has an IQ of less than zero, said she wasn’t sure why she bought 1,850 rolls of toilet paper yesterday. “I just saw other people doing it, so I thought I’d better do it too. Is it some kind of game or something? I reckon I’m winning. I’m going to go out again to today to try and get some more. The only problem is I can’t get into my bathroom now because it’s blocked by all the toilet rolls and I’m massively busting”.
Jessica Low, who developed the measure and has an IQ of 150, said she was having the worst day of her life.
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