The amount of energy used by people pointlessly losing their minds over a 16 year-old Swedish girl has hit new highs, after Greta Thunberg was awarded TIME’s Person of the Year award today.
The long-term trend has seen a steady increase in wasted energy over climate activist, but scientists noticed a huge spike today following TIME’s announcement.
“It’s a startling increase. On the plus side, it doesn’t look like we will run out of this type of energy,” an industry spokesperson said.
But some people have denied the link between wasted energy and Greta Thunberg. “I haven’t wasted any goddamn fucking energy on thinking about that annoying little twat,” one person wrote in the comments section of 48 different websites.
Welfare groups have reminded people to look out for Great Thunberg-hating family members today. “It’s going to be a difficult time for them. In particular we have grave fears for Andrew Bolt. ”.