FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

One Nation’s candidate for <insert electorate> has <quit/been forced out/been detained by police> after <threatening to kill someone/committing a theft/mowing Nazi insignia into their lawn/being accused of a hate crime/other as appropriate>.

<He/she> was unavailable for comment, as <he/she> is currently <awaiting trial/under investigation/in jail>.

One Nation leader Pauline Hanson said she was <saddened/shocked/unaware> of the news.

“<Insert name> does not reflect the values of One Nation. Quite simply, <he/she> <was the wrong kind of racist/was a little bit too creepy, even for us/did something that’s not appropriate for print>”.

Ms Hanson will now begin the long search for a new candidate, which will involve <pinning up a flyer at a KKK clubhouse/Using the search term ‘Fuck off we’re full’ on Facebook/cold calling suspects in Queensland Police’s latest murder investigation>.

For further information, or for an interview, please contact James Ashby.

Become a Shovel member. Or follow us on Email | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Facebook

Twitter

Reddit

Email