One Nation Candidate [Insert Name] To [Resign/Be Detained] After [Hate Crime/Strange Fetish/Inappropriate Nazi Affiliation] Revealed
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
One Nation’s candidate for <insert electorate> has <quit/been forced out/been detained by police> after <threatening to kill someone/committing a theft/mowing Nazi insignia into their lawn/being accused of a hate crime/other as appropriate>.
<He/she> was unavailable for comment, as <he/she> is currently <awaiting trial/under investigation/in jail>.
One Nation leader Pauline Hanson said she was <saddened/shocked/unaware> of the news.
“<Insert name> does not reflect the values of One Nation. Quite simply, <he/she> <was the wrong kind of racist/was a little bit too creepy, even for us/did something that’s not appropriate for print>”.
Ms Hanson will now begin the long search for a new candidate, which will involve <pinning up a flyer at a KKK clubhouse/Using the search term ‘Fuck off we’re full’ on Facebook/cold calling suspects in Queensland Police’s latest murder investigation>.
For further information, or for an interview, please contact James Ashby.
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