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Matthew Flinders Dies After Waiting Two Hundred Years For A Fucking Train

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Explorer Matthew Finders has passed away after waiting two centuries for a train at Euston Station in London.

After a series of lengthy delays, cancellations and platform changes, Mr Flinders finally lost the will to live.

In a statement, Transport for London apologised for the delay, blaming a signal failure at High Barnett. It has offered Mr Flinders a refund for his ticket.

Flinders – who played a central role in the early European exploration of Australia – will be buried under Town Hall station in Sydney.

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