After a three-year search, the Liberal Party may have finally found a leader with the excruciatingly awkward dad-joke shtick to take it right up to Bill Shorten.
“Who can you trust to constantly look like an embarrassing middle-aged man trying to look groovy in front of his kids?” Mr Morrison asked, in an early pitch to voters today. “Who can you trust to bring down energy prices? Certainly not Electricity Bill! Get it?”
Mr Morrison said that after a tumultuous week, his government was now united. “Although we did have another spill last night. The wife accidentally knocked over my can of VB while I was sitting in front of the telly watching the Sharks!”
Bill Shorten said that he wasn’t surprised that Mr Morrison felt like a beer after such a disastrous week. “Although, I’ve gotta say, he doesn’t look like a beer”.
Shorten said he believed he had Mr Morrison’s measure. “I’m ready … actually, I’m Bill Shorten!”