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Dutton: “My Biggest Regret Is I Wasted Time Learning To Smile”

Peter Dutton says the hours he spent in front of a mirror last week trying to get his lips to move in an upward direction is time he will never get back.

“It’s a skill I’ll never use again. I spent most of last week learning how to do it, and it’s all been for nothing,” a frustrated Mr Dutton said.

“It’s like learning a language to impress a girl from another country and then realising she hates you. What a total waste of time”.

Mr Dutton used his new smile in a press conference soon after resigning from the front bench. While he struggled to speak and smile at the same time, experts say it was a solid first attempt. He hasn’t smiled since.

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