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Closing Ceremony: Peter Beattie Unreservedly Apologises To All 43 Attendees

Commonwealth Games Chairman Peter Beattie has spoken to each of the eighteen families who attended last night’s closing ceremony, apologising for the sub-standard event.

The attendees included forty-two sponsors and a guy named Robert.

“I spoke to Robert today,” Mr Beattie confirmed. “I thanked him for coming to the ceremony, in particular the first twenty minutes before he left”.

The closing ceremony was beamed to a potential global television audience of 1.5 billion and an actual television audience of 583.

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By Daniel Brewster

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