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Overwhelming Sense Of Self-Entitlement Now Included Standard With All SUVs

Large luxury SUVs will soon come standard with airbags, bluetooth and an over-exaggerated desire to do whatever the f*ck works for me, it has been revealed.

The self-entitlement feature, which used to be an optional extra, will become part of the standard package to meet overwhelming customer demand.

The feature automatically inflates the driver’s ego when another car is within 5 metres, allowing users to park wherever the f*ck they want, and drive with no regard for other road users.

Porsche SUV spokesperson Sandra Tilley said it was an exciting development for the industry. “We want our drivers to feel in control, whether that means pulling in front of another car, or blocking the view of everyone within a 300 metre radius. You’ll feel safe, even if those around you don’t”.


By Catherine Spedding

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