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Calls For National Sick Day After Nation Forced To Imagine Barnaby Joyce Having Sex

*TRIGGER WARNING – Contains distressing material*

Workers rights groups have called for a nation-wide day off, after millions of Australians were involuntarily subjected to the mental image of the member for New England having intercourse.

Marianne Nolan from Workers Health Australia said Wednesday was a harrowing day for many Australians, and that they needed time to recover. “There’s been a lot of nausea, a lot of small vomits in the mouth. We need to look after each other today”.

She the timing of the imagery only made things worse. “For most of us, it was over a bowl of cereal that the image of the Deputy Prime Minister naked and sexually active entered our minds. It was totally unexpected and quite gruesome.

“It’s bad enough having to see Barnaby fully clothed. But to think of him working up a sweat in the bedroom … I’m sorry, excuse me, sorry, I think I’m going to be sick”.

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