Follow The Shovel

More Australians Requiring Thumb Replacements Due To Increased Demands Of Scrolling

Hospitals have reported a growing incidence of ‘thumb decay’, as people spend more time scrolling to find something remotely interesting on their phones.

In some cases, patients as young as eight have needed their entire thumb replaced after the original thumb was ground down to its nub.

“Thumb decay is a growing problem,” surgeon Mark Spirosa said, pointing to figures that show adult thumbs are 20% more worn down than a generation ago. “I had one patient who spend 26 hours straight trying to get to the end of his Facebook feed and ended up losing two thumbs”.

He said that as more and more people post excruciatingly pointless pictures of themselves on social media, we were being forced to scroll further to get to something even moderately interesting.

Like this? Donate a few bucks to The Shovel. And follow us on Email | Facebook Twitter Instagram

Become a Shovel member. Or follow us on Email | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram