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Ronald McDonald Statues To Be Removed – Found To Be Offensive To Absolutely Everyone

More than 12,000 Ronald McDonald statues will be torn down over the next month after it was realised they were totally fucking creepy and weird.

Saying it was a tradition that had gone on for far too long, community spokesperson Jarred Rowe released a petition signed by 24 million Australians, calling for the weirdo clowns to be removed.

“These statues no longer represent who we are. Actually I’m not sure what they represent; they’re inexplicably odd,” he said.

The statues were first installed in the 1960s, although no-one can remember why.

One group has called for the statues to remain, with just the plaques being updated. “These are part of our history – we should simply updated the wording underneath … actually fuck it, bring them down”.

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