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Direct Correlation Between Shitness Of Ringtone And Time Taken To Find Phone In Handbag, Research Confirms

The more infantile a person’s ringtone, the longer it will take them to realise the phone is theirs, search through their handbag, undo five different zips, find the phone, work out how to answer the call, and finally realise they’ve missed the call, new research shows.

“A phone with a Benny Hill ring tone will statistically never be found in time to answer it”, lead researcher Marcus Philby said.

He said people with stupid ringtones were also more likely to appear surprised when their phone rang, compared with the general population. “It’s as if, once they set their shit ringtone, they never expected it to actually ring,” he said.

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