Medical guru Belle Gibson shares the malignant tumours to be seen out and about with this season, along with the perfect new-age diet to pair it with.
Sexy, sassy and a perennial favourite amongst the terminal illness set, expect to see this iconic cancer everywhere this spring.
Match it with a cauliflower-only cleansing diet and watch the likes and followers skyrocket!
Brave, bold, and a little provocative, this is the cancer that will get lips wagging at your next social function. I wouldn’t be caught dead with anything else!
Up the talkability stakes by matching your brain cancer with a daring 3/7/1 diet. Don’t know what that is? Neither do I. Audacious!
One for the guys, this cancer is equally at home in the boardroom or on the building site.
Complement your cancer with a raw-meat diet and a charity campaign. Start counting those dollar bills!
Youthful, fresh, bright and inspiring, this is the must-have cancer for hot young trend-setters this season.
Versatile enough to match with a simple cleanser diet or a more complex carb regime, this is a sure fire way to your next book deal.
Stage Four Lung Cancer
By brining your own style to this old-school classic, you’re sure to impress your friends and publishing agents.
Highlight the full richness of your new-found cancer with a wheat-free wonder diet, and complete with a trademarked app.
Complete the look. A melanoma goes with just about anything these days, so mix and match for that total cancer look. I’ll be heading to Spring Racing Carnival this year with a fresh leukaemia diagnoses and a pithy anecdote about and a discoloured neck mole. Hot!
This article first appeared in The Chaser’s Anti-Expert Guide To Everything