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Sad, Lonely Eric Abetz To Spend Another Day Thinking About Other People Having Sex

Saying he had no interests or hobbies, and no other way to spend his time, Tasmanian Senator Eric Abetz confirmed he will again spend the day thinking about people he doesn’t know having sex.    

“My life is literally so devoid of meaning or purpose that I’m left with no choice but to fixate myself on the image of two consenting adults copulating,” he said.

“If I’m not thinking about other people engaging in sexual activity, I’m commenting on other people engaging in sexual activity. My life is that sad,” he revealed.

Mr Abetz said he had recently turned his thoughts to gay sex. “I think about it a lot actually. I’ve totally run out of other things to think about.

“I think about gay sex more than gay people think about gay sex. But not quite as much as Cory Bernardi thinks about gay sex,” he said. “I’m so lonely”.

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