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Trump Opens Morning Papers To Discover Media Finally Reporting Real News

April 1: After months of reading fake news from publications such as the New York Times and The Washington Post, Donald Trump was delighted this morning to discover the media was at last covering actual real-world stories.

“I read this morning that they’ve had a bumper spaghetti harvest in Italy this year. That’s true. And another article here says that Big Ben is getting a digital clock. That’s true too – I’ve seen it myself. So good”.

He said it was about time news outlets put forward the facts. “It’s taken them until the first day of April to do it, but the media is finally reporting real news. Now, I’m off to get a fry-flavoured thick shake from Burger King”.

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