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Farmers’ Markets Actually Just Shitter Versions Of Normal Markets, Experts Confirm

The farmers’ market at the local high school oval near your place is just like a normal market, but worse, it has been revealed.

Researchers say that while going to a farmers’ market might make you feel smug, deep down you know it’s just a more expensive and slightly more boring version of the real thing.

“When we spend $175 on a small bottle of raspberry jam or a loaf of artisan bread, we kid ourselves into thinking farmers’ markets are special. But when we’re honest with ourselves, we know they’re a little bit shit,” lead researcher Jennifer Granson said.

Regular farmers’ market goer Toni Placard, who spent $481 last weekend on a jar of olives and a hummus dip, said she was surprised by the findings. “I just adore walking around a packed suburban oval browsing things I could buy in a shop for half the price,” she said, adding “Actually, no, I hate them”.

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