Follow The Shovel

CLOSE
I’m The Only Person Qualified To Take On ISIS, Reality TV Host Says

Saying he knew all the best things to do, a former host of Celebrity Apprentice today claimed he was uniquely positioned to take on the world’s terrorists.

“I’ve done these things. I know what to do. I’ve sat in the boardroom with the TV cameras on. I know what it means when that big red light is flashing,” the man said.

“I can read from a script. I can ad-lib. I can do both. I can look straight down the barrel of a camera. I can look away from the camera. I know how to build tension before a commercial break. None of the other candidates can. And that’s important, because people ask me, ‘How are we going to stop ISIS and the Mexicans?’ That’s what people are saying. That’s what I’m hearing. And it’s a good question.

“And I say to them, ‘I’ve done this. I get things done. I have many businesses, many TV shows. I know people who are in TV shows. Believe me, I know how to crush ISIS”.

For more, follow The Shovel on Facebook & Twitter & Instagram, or subscribe for emails below.

Like this? Donate a few bucks to The Shovel. And follow us on Email | Facebook Twitter Instagram


SHARE THIS STORY
Become a Shovel member. Or follow us on Email | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Close

Enjoy this? Support The Shovel with a one-off 99c donation

For only the cost of a really shit coffee, or the annual tax payment of a multi-national company, you can support The Shovel. Make a one-off donation instantly using Spotpass - no credit card, no spam and $5 to spend instantly.

Thanks for your support!!