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“I Can’t Find The Key To My Diary” George Brandis Claims

Labor’s hopes that it will finally be able to read the contents of Senator George Brandis’s diary have been dashed, after Mr Brandis said he couldn’t find the special loved-hearted shaped key.

Following a ruling by the Federal Court which required Mr Brandis to hand over his diary, the Senator said it was locked and couldn’t be opened by anyone, not even his best friend. “The key was under my pillow last night, but I can’t find it now. I wouldn’t tell you anyway,” Mr Brandis said.

Those who have secretly seen inside the diary say it will provide a treasure trove of information to whoever can find the key. On one page there is a list entitled ‘My top 10 favourite legal dissertations eva!’ On another, ‘I ♥ READING’ in big cursive letters.

There are also several entries devoted to Mr Brandis’s secret crush – watering down Australian privacy laws. And an entry entitled ‘If you’ve got nothing to hide, you have got nothing to fear’ – a speech he gave about metadata.

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