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All Australians To Be In Bed By 9:30pm Tonight, Kitty Chiller Advises

Australians must be in their beds, teeth cleaned, by no later than 9:30pm the nation’s Olympics chief Kitty Chiller has advised.

In a memo to all Australians, Chiller said she would not tolerate any talking or mucking around. “I will allow quiet reading until 9:40pm, as long as you are actually in bed. But after that it’s strictly lights out, no talking,” the memo reads.

She stipulated that a 9:30pm bedtime did NOT mean starting to get ready at 9:30pm. “You will need to start cleaning your teeth and changing into your pyjamas BEFORE then,” she stressed.

Any Australian not complying with the bedtime rules will miss out on dessert tomorrow night.

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