Follow The Shovel

World Preparing For Massive Outbreak Of Kevin Rudd

Kevin Rudd has left Australia and is quickly spreading to other parts of the globe, scientists have warned.

The World Health Organisation (WHO) has told citizens that the virus may look like just a humble Queenslander here to help at first, but warned it can quickly evolve into a calculating, passive-aggressive infection.

“It creeps up on you,” a WHO spokesperson said. “Initially it seems like nothing more than a minor annoyance, and then BAM, it’s everywhere. Literally tearing you apart”.

He said there was also a risk its ego could get too big and burst. “That has the potential to create major, lasting damage”.

Sufferers were advised to seek Bill Shorten.

Like this? Donate a few bucks to The Shovel. And follow us on Email | Facebook Twitter Instagram

Become a Shovel member. Or follow us on Email | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram


Enjoy this? Support The Shovel with a one-off 99c donation

For only the cost of a really shit coffee, or the annual tax payment of a multi-national company, you can support The Shovel. Make a one-off donation instantly using Spotpass - no credit card, no spam and $5 to spend instantly.

Thanks for your support!!