Follow The Shovel

CLOSE
New Safety Briefing To Remind Passengers To Check For Grant Hackett Before Take Off

Passengers on Virgin flights from today will be told to familiarise themselves with their nearest Grant Hackett, remembering it may be behind them.

“In the event of a Grant Hackett, you will need to know the brace position instantly,” the new safety demonstration will say.

“During the flight please ensure your tray table is up, your luggage is stowed under the seat in front of you, and you seat back is upright. Like, totally fucking upright mate. More. Further up arsehole. I said put it up! Do you know who the fuck I am?”

For more, follow The Shovel on Facebook & Twitter & Instagram, or subscribe for emails below.


SHARE THIS STORY
Become a Shovel member. Or follow us on Email | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Close

Enjoy this? Support The Shovel with a one-off 99c donation

For only the cost of a really shit coffee, or the annual tax payment of a multi-national company, you can support The Shovel. Make a one-off donation instantly using Spotpass - no credit card, no spam and $5 to spend instantly.

Thanks for your support!!