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BREAKING: Oregon Militia Shot Dead After White Face Paint Fades


The gang of black and Middle-Eastern terrorists who stormed and seized a wildlife refuge in the US have been shot and killed, bringing to an end the tense nine-day standoff.

The heavily armed group – who many assumed to be white until their face paint faded – had demanded that two members of their organisation be released from incarceration. They also threatened to shoot any Federal officers who approached the wildlife office they had taken by force.

After negotiations broke down and the white face paint began to sweat off the terrorists’ faces, Federal forces saw their chance, surrounding and then opening fire on the building. All twenty-four terrorists were killed.

“The face paint was getting in their eyes, so that’s when we realised it would be a good time to strike,” an FBI spokesperson said.

Earlier, the group had asked their supporters to send tubs of Miracle Whip – a white salad dressing cream – which it is now believed was to be used to top up face paint supplies.

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