Follow The Shovel

CLOSE
U.S. News Bulletin To Now Give Overview Of The Day’s News, Sport, Mass Shootings And Weather

TV news bulletins will now give Americans an overview of the day’s top mass murders, along with the regular sport, news and seven-day weather outlook.

“We’ll start with the breaking headlines as normal, before moving into the more day-to-day stuff like shootings and weather,” a spokesperson for one of the country’s major networks said today.

She said landmark sporting results, slaughters, and weather events would still be reported in the top news segment, but everyday events and shootings would be reported further down the bulletin. “That’s the formula that people have come to expect”.

Shorter 30-second updates will just contain a snapshot of the latest news and shootings.

Like this? Donate a few bucks to The Shovel. And follow us on Email | Facebook Twitter Instagram


SHARE THIS STORY
Become a Shovel member. Or follow us on Email | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Close

Enjoy this? Support The Shovel with a one-off 99c donation

For only the cost of a really shit coffee, or the annual tax payment of a multi-national company, you can support The Shovel. Make a one-off donation instantly using Spotpass - no credit card, no spam and $5 to spend instantly.

Thanks for your support!!