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Turnbull Delivers Rousing Victory Speech Entirely In Latin

Saying it was a victory for the true believers – or “pro victoria orthodoxos” – the new Prime Minister today gave a stirring speech in lingua antiqua Romae to an adoring crowd who pretended to understand every single word.

Mr Turnbull carefully laid out his plans for health care policy, environmental policy, and education policy, in plain Latin.

“Bonum regimen incipit hodie!” he said to rapturous applause.

Mr Turnbull follows in the footsteps of Kevin Rudd, who often delivered speeches in Mandarin. It is unclear what language Tony Abbott used for his speeches.

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