“Death Cult Bad. Escaping Death Cult On Boat Badder”: Government Talking Points Leaked

The evil Death Cult wreaking havoc across the Middle East has absolutely no regard for human life, and its victims should under no circumstances try to escape on a boat, leaked Government talking points confirmed today.

“Thank goodness we’re doing everything we can to stop this Death Cult and to stop people fleeing this Death Cult,” Prime Minister Tony Abbott said today.

Mr Abbott appealed directly to Syrians under threat from the Death Cult. “Let me remind anyone considering running from this brutal, medieval, blood-thirsty, ruthless, callous Death Cult to think very carefully before doing anything silly. Like getting on a maritime vessel to escape it”.

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