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Labor Meet To Discuss New Ways To Remain Irrelevant

Labor delegates will meet in Melbourne this weekend, with the party divided on the best ways to alienate their supporter base.

“We’ll be debating a whole range of different ways to miscalculate public opinion,” a party spokesperson said, adding he was confident the strongest ideas would win out.

With the election likely to be just over a year away, the spokesperson said there was a renewed enthusiasm for irrelevance. “What Australians want is a strong, clear alternative. Which is nice, isn’t it?” he said.

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