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Anti-Vaxxers Relieved They’ll No Longer Have Dirty, Toxic Childcare Benefits Injected Into Their Bank Account

In a win for anti-vaccination campaigners, advocates will no longer be forced to expose their bank accounts to the potentially harmful effects of taxpayer money.

“This is such a relief. Who knows what’s in that money?” anti-vaccination crusader Felicity Jacobs said.

She urged Australians to think carefully about subjecting their accounts to fortnightly cash injections. “We don’t fully understand the associated risks. It’s not worth the gamble. Remember, it’s your right not to take this money”.

Sydney mother Henrietta Chase agreed. “It’s not worth the risk. There’s no evidence that bank accounts are better off with more money. So do what you think is best for your bank account”.

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