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‘I Occasionally Eat Coal’ Admits Abbott

Prime Minister Tony Abbott conceded today that he enjoys eating coal from time to time, describing the popular fossil fuel as ‘clean and crisp, with a slight tang’.

“It’s actually very versatile,” Mr Abbott said. “I usually fry it up with garlic and a bit of butter. But it’s just as tasty straight out of the fridge. It’s the foundation of Australia’s future prosperity, and a delightful, easy-to-prepare snack. I love it”.

The PM said he had introduced many of his colleagues to the delicacy since coming to office last September. “It’s a popular treat for the guys and Julie now. If there’s a tough agenda to get through, Peta will bring out some coal and crackers and the mood visibly lifts”.

He said not all ministers took to coal straight away. “Greg Hunt was quite tentative to try it at first. But I see him sprinkle coal on his sandwiches most lunchtimes now. It is moreish,” he said.

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