Work For Dole: Jobless To Spend 25 Hours A Week Building New Bookshelf For George Brandis

george brandis bookshelf

Australians who receive unemployment benefits will be required to work up to 25 hours each week on the construction of a new bookshelf for Coalition senator George Brandis, under sweeping changes to the Work For The Dole scheme announced today.

Describing the program as “nation building”, Employment Minister Eric Abetz said it was an opportunity for unemployed people to contribute to an important Australian institution. “If someone is receiving unemployment benefits, it is fair and reasonable to expect that they give back in some way. Here is a chance to put in an honest day’s work and gain some building and manufacturing skills at the same time”.

While conceding the work would be hard at times, Mr Abetz said it was a rare opportunity for Australians to see one of the country’s largest literary collections. “Workers won’t be able to touch the books of course, but they will be able to view them from a distance, which I think is only reasonable” he said.

As many as 15,000 of Australia’s unemployed will be assigned to the construction site at any given time.

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7 Comments

  1. Uno Bubba

    July 30, 2014 at 10:39 pm

    I’m not sure how much extra paperwork it will be for Australian businesses to deal with 40 job applications from each of 741,700* unemployed individuals every month. However, it means 29,668,000 job applications every month, or 356,016,000 per year.

    I seriously doubt there are more than a million job opportunities advertised in any 12 month period in Australia.

    This sort of “shoot from the lip” policy announcement is going to embarrass the government.

    *741,700 = number of people registered as unemployed in Australia, as at 10 Jul 2014.

    • Ben

      July 31, 2014 at 11:15 am

      “The Shovel is Australia’s satire news site.”

    • Jon

      July 31, 2014 at 11:39 am

      If all of those extra job applications were sent to the local MP, I think the embarrassment may be short lived…

  2. Maybe Satire

    July 31, 2014 at 1:09 pm

    Sorry I am a little confused – are you saying that the unemployed form part of the team to build the bookcases or just form part of the bookcases. The latter is much more economically rational: it reduces the unemployment rate and is consistent with the direct action environment scheme by recycling excess material.

    One concern is that this latest proposal might divert resources from their use as road fill or as foundations for the proposed fence between us and Indonesia as discussed in previous stories on your august website. It would be a shame to see these projects hit by lack of resources.

    Given these conflicting demands, may I humbly suggest that we use the unemployed for one project, the elderly for another and the poor for the third.

    My only concern is whether such issues as osteoporosis et al might weaken the quality of material that can be obtained from the elderly. As an alternative, maybe we could change our refugee policy and accept a large quota of boat people to be used as part of the fence – since they are en-route, this would vastly reduce transportation costs.

    The use of refugees will achieve two goals at once: it will stop the refugees from drowning (a horror which is a circumstance of the utmost concern to our current government) and also we can avoid the costs of long-term detention centres.

    I hope the readership of the Shovel will embrace my ideas which are focused on achieving the most rational solution to Australia’s budgetary and refugee problems. I have offered my services to Mr Morrison, Mr Brandis and Mr Abbot but I am afraid they have declined since they feel I am too much of a bleeding-heart softy.

    • Heather Kennedy

      July 31, 2014 at 11:07 pm

      lmao I won’t even try to top that comment or I’ll die in the attempt, darnit now my stomach hurts from laughing and I can’t afford to go to the damn doctor with the proposed increase in charges. And can’t afford the pills either. Best I can hope for is to donate my body to science since research institutions are copping so many cutbacks. All I would be good for is making labels to stick on the shelves on the bookcases. Hey- there’s a good idea… see what happens with innovative positive thinking, yippee!

    • govt snoop

      August 1, 2014 at 10:35 am

      The. Best. Comment. Ever.

  3. Buzz Line

    July 31, 2014 at 4:51 pm

    I expect an increase in the literary ability of Australia’s unemployed. In today’s media we only need headlines or as the lucky team will see “Novel titles” George Brandis – Working for a higher Literacy standard