Dogs are to be treated as if they were toddlers it has emerged.
Under the changes announced today, many of the feelings usually reserved for offspring will be transferred to small animals. Sydney couple Alice and Matthew Polson welcomed the news. “Hubert has had this nagging feeling that he’s inferior to our friends’ kids for a while now. This will help his confidence and social development a lot,” Ms Polson said.
As analyst Robert Grieg explains, the new rules won’t just affect dog owners. “If you’re a relative of a dog owner, you will be expected to bring presents, give a shit, that kind of thing”.
Perth man Tim Mulgrave said his dog Samantha was happy to hear the news. “You were so happy weren’t you? Yes you were! Yes you were!”
Samantha did not respond to our questions.